Ironman Malaysia - the mental race, and my "mental chips theory"

The title of this post has a double meaning; I'm going to attempt to write about some of the mental and emotional aspects of the prep and race. But also, Ironman Malaysia was a 'mental' race, in terms of how tough it was and the number of people who succumbed to the conditions on the day. I believe that some of the secret of my success on the day is directly related to how I managed those mentally and hopefully this will help others to approach hot humid races in a similar way and flourish, not wilt! I've also added a little about my "mental chips' theory; something that I now feel is critical to having something extra when the going gets tough.

Pre race mental preparation

I have already written a bit about how my preparation for this race was different. I read back over the last blog, and a few key points really stood out to me.
The first was about lowering my expectations. I used to look at successful athletes (amateur and pro) and I always got the impression that goal setting ( the good old 'SMART' principles) and planning the ways to achieve those goals were really important to keep moving forward in sport, and I suppose in other aspects of your life as well. But I now really believe that in triathlon, particularly Ironman, and especially if you want longevity in the sport this kind of approach may not be the best. As was the case with South Africa, it can set you up for disappointment too easily. Imagine training for 4-6 months ( or longer) for a race, paying the entry fee, flights, accommodation. Racing hard, physically and mentally for 10-12 hours, but then being DISAPPOINTED with the result, because you didn't achieve a goal you set at the start? I never want to be in that position!
But the tricky thing if you are competitive, is how to get fired up to train, and race when you know you can 'just finish' without all that preparation?
I discovered a few ways that I could get a happy medium going into this race. Let's look at a few of my real goals and objectives.

Finish the race.

Happy after losing 1.5 litres of sweat on a run!

This was absolutely objective number one. Although initially this was a hard goal to get my head around, as the race approached, it became clear that this would be a big enough challenge in itself, due to the tough bike course, and monsoonal heat. (I noticed that I mentioned a  'flat' bike course in the last blog; it was anything but flat!) For Ironman France in 2011, I was so nervous about the bike course (with its 2000m plus of climbing) that this fear was my motivation to get the riding done in the prep. For Malaysia, it was the fear of the heat. I suspected that this would be as much a mental thing on race day, as it was physical, but I knew that physically if I could be as lean as possible, this would help, and if I could start to embrace discomfort, especially when hot, this would also help. To this end, in the final 4 weeks, I did not drink alcohol at all. I didn't restrict my diet, but I was conscious about eating really healthy food, and only snacked when I really was hungry. I got to my goal race weight 2 weeks out; perfect. With the heat aspect, I used little tricks, like I stopped wearing the sweat bands I usually have on my wrist during runs. Instead of wiping sweat on runs, or in yoga, I just let it run down my face, and accepted this annoyance, as this would happen in the race.


Swim goal.
I have improved so much in my swim, that I was really hoping for a good result in the swim.

Qualify for Hawaii.
This sounds off the wall, because I had been talking about just wanting to finish Malaysia from the day I entered it. But let's face it, the name of this blog highlights what my overriding goal has been since Oct 2011, when I finished my first Hawaii. The main goal for Malaysia was certainly not Hawaii qualification, but when the athlete list was published, of COURSE I checked who my competitors were! I knew that there were no absolute stand outs, and if I could have a reasonable race, I might be in with a chance. That is a BIG mental carrot when you are digging deep late in the race.

During the race

Many people write great race reports, and might mention some of their thoughts during the race, but more often, it is the events, or challenges that occurred, or race strategies which dominate these reports. I thought it would be different to share some of the thoughts or images that I feel were important during my race in Malaysia.

IRONWAR

Allen and Scott in their IRON WAR

This one is a cracker! When I was out on the course, and I knew I was closing on the Swiss athlete who I eventually beat, I conjured up the image of Dave Scott and Mark Allen in their "Ironwar"race of 1989 at Kona (video here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOVGVMiwPSA).

 I figured if they could battle it out as they did, for literally hours, I would be able to catch my opponent, and if she were to come with me, I'd race her, just like my heroes raced back then! When I came to make the pass on her, I tried to drop her, just as decisively as Allen dropped Scott in the latter stages of the Ironwar.

Wanting the tough conditions
I WANTED Malaysia to hurt! I had just had my first DNF in South Africa, and going to Malaysia was a way to decide if i was really willing to put myself through what an Ironman takes. And I didn't want it to be a nice, easy day! So every time I felt the oppressive heat, I was glad. It wasn't going to be easy, or fast, but that was good. When the sun went in, briefly and I felt cooler I was disappointed! That wasn't what I'd signed up for! I fully intend to take this attitude to Hawaii, by the way. I HATE the wind, but I will be hoping for big swell, strong wind and searing heat in October. Because if you feel like that, nothing will phase you on race day.

Giving myself some love
I am my own harshest critic. I find it really difficult to actually give myself credit, no matter how much I've achieved. In the final lap of the run in Malaysia, I saw a hand-written sign "YOUR MUM WOULD BE PROUD OF YOU". I can remember thinking "yes she would, and you should be proud of yourself, for having got through this, and for what you have achieved". It is amazing how much lighter your legs feel when you give yourself that kind of boost in the tough stages of a race.

My "mental chips" theory 

The "mental chip" theory refers to the pros and cons of giving every training session all you've got. Now the exercise physiology experts will be able to discuss all of the different energy systems we train, and why we need to train at different intensities to optimise our progression. I understand all these principles, but I believe there is another really important aspect to dramatically changing the effort you put into your sessions. I call it “the mental chip theory”. 

A bank of mental chips

Imagine that when it comes to race day, you have a bank of mental chips (like casino chips!) to draw on. You have built them up, through consistent training, seeing improvements, getting through tough sessions.

Now if you have one of those training days, say where you have to ride into headwind for hours and hours. Or maybe you get half way through an interval session and have to really dig deep to push to the end of it.  Or even one of those days where you've had loads of stress at work, and don’t even feel like training, yet you still drag yourself out onto the bike and do the session. I’m sure everyone has many examples of all of those kinds of days. I know I have over the years, and 90% of the time, I told myself it was THOSE mentally tough sessions which would stand me in good stead for my races.

To some degree, I still believe that philosophy. There are some sessions I believe that you might call ‘banker’ sessions, which may really test your limits, physically and especially mentally and once ticked off give you that positive reinforcement that you will be ready to race. But I now also believe that you can overdo these kinds of sessions and turn up on race day overcooked mentally.

I believe this contributed to my DNF in  Ironman South Africa.  I had completed what I considered to be an ideal build up to the race. Back then, my definition of ideal was to do every single session on my program. To take the longest option with every distance or time, to do the maximum number of reps in every interval set. When I felt like I had nothing to give, physically or mentally, I embraced that, and thought that would only make me stronger on race day. What actually happened was that I stood on the start line, after 6 months of preparation, and thought “at least this will all be over in 10 or 11 hours”. What happened then was that I went out on the bike in that race, as if I was racing 40km, not a hilly 180km. I totally fell apart, and was forced to withdraw, dehydrated, ending up in the medical tent.

It took me a long time to work out what had really happened out there. And I realised, with time and hindsight that it wasn’t so much what happened in the race, but rather in the build-up that caused the problems. I had spent every mental chip I had in training. I had nothing left by race day, but my way of dealing with that was to push harder than I ever could in an ironman, with devastating consequences.

In my prep for Malaysia, I vowed to skip any sessions I didn't feel like doing (these were very few and far between in the end) and when I felt enough was enough, I didn't force myself to spend every mental chip I had in training. By race day, my bank of chips was overflowing! I was jumping out of my skin and raring to go. I had vowed to enjoy the race and had no attachment to a result. But I am a racer, so when it came down to it, and I knew the win was on the line, I actually dug deeper than I ever have in a race. And I was able to, because I hadn't left it all on the road in training.

Drawing from the bottom of the mental chip bank

Spending the mental chips when it matters

Now the mental chip theory is a bit of a mantra for me. I don’t decide before a session, but instead I gauge during the effort, just how much I want to give. Let’s face it; if we are motivated to perform, and improve, we are rarely going to go too easy on ourselves! Since Malaysia, I have raced in some small local events. It’s interesting that I have been able to push really hard in those races, and yet in the past, during Ironman builds, I've never really wanted to. Of course racing more often means is that there are less mental chips for the next few training sessions. But isn't that what racing should be like?

Going into this year’s Hawaii build, I intend to follow the same philosophy. Hawaii is just as tough as Malaysia; more so on a windy day. So I will do what I need to do in training so I get to race day in the best shape I can. But I’ll make sure that my bank of mental chips is loaded up, ready for when I need to start drawing on them out on the Queen K highway.

Finding the fun in the process and trying to keep perspective

Reviewing my last post and how I think I've progressed

This made me laugh! I was reconnecting with an old vet school friend, and she asked me if I was aiming for Kona in IM Malaysia in 6 weeks. I thought rather than a lengthy explanation, I'd send her the link to my blog. Re-reading it was well worthwhile for me, at this point in the preparation for the race. You see, I have ticked a lot of the boxes I mentioned in that blog, but I've also conveniently forgotten a few aspects! I will go into a bit more detail below, but essentially I have:

• Found the fun in training by swapping training for racing - TICK
• Riding hills - BIG TICK!!
• Been more relaxed and found more balance - TICK (until maybe the last couple of weeks)
• Not been so goal-driven - Hmmm - at times
• Not built up expectations around my performance in the race - Again, yes until the past couple of weeks.

So how have I nailed some of these aspects and not others?

Finding my love of racing again

With the Old Geelong crew at the Brighton 9km handicap

I have raced more in this prep than I have for years. Most of the races I have done have been running races, with Old Geelong Collegians, in the APSOC league. These are brilliant. They are usually handicaps, or relays, and because you are racing for a team, I always find you push just that bit harder than if you were just racing for yourself. The problem is, they are on Saturday afternoons, which means after a long ride, my legs are always fatigued for them. This is why I stopped doing them for a few years, during various Ironman/ marathon preps. 

But I have produced some surprisingly fast times despite tired legs, and each time that happens, it has boosted my confidence. Other races I have done, include a Sri Chinmoy half marathon (instead of a sunday long run - again, on tired legs, but went really well) and Pete and I stumbled upon a Veterans handicap cycling road race in the Grampians, after a wedding, which was SO much fun, and gave us an impromptu 55km time trial!! Plus it cured our hangovers!

LESSON ONE - It appears that when I perform better than I expect, my confidence is boosted. In South Africa, I expected too much. I was always on to a loser. 

Riding Hills, other cool stuff on the bike and my "big week"

The start of my epic 185km down the Hume

Oh yes. There is no doubt, this is where I am really happy on a bike. It's such a shame so many Ironman courses are set up for fast bike times (ie. flat!). Even though I had a shocker in South Africa, I loved the new, hilly course. But Malaysia is flat, so I do have to get my head around that. But instead of driving myself insane on Beach Rd (which after 9 years of riding it, is becoming very tedious), for our first big ride of the prep, we caught a train north, and I rode down the Hume Hwy from Benalla; 185km! I would never be as flippant as to say this was easy mentally, 185km is not. But it was miles better, thanks to the "big adventure" aspect than my last few 180km rides had been, and it's one of those days I will remember as being epic for ever! I still wish I wasn't driven so much by emotions with my training. I know that Pete can say "I have 180km to ride, I'll just do it". But I am who I am, and it's those emotions that can also be a massive positive for me, by making me so passionate about so many areas of my life. 

A special moment on Mt Buffalo I will always cherish

The other thing I did on the bike (and also included a lot of running) was a "big week" in Bright. Usually we do this in the summer, December or January, during our Ironman preps. It seemed a bit of a risk going up to the mountains in the middle of the coldest winter for 8 years, but I took my mountain bike, in case it was too icy for the road bike, and I was pretty willing to adapt the training as necessary. The main goal was just to get a lot of hours in, both cycling and running. I am SO GLAD I did it! I had some amazing rides, and because I dressed well, if anything I was too warm some days. I managed to ride 400km and run 50km that week, with 27 hours total. But more importantly, I just absolutely fell in love with the training. Riding to the top of Mt Buffalo, to the snow on a beautiful sunny day, actually moved me to tears. It was a wonderful, spiritual ride. That is what I have been trying to find again through this prep. When I started the sport, it was those moments that captivated me, and I had lost them in the drive to "tick all the boxes", or "leave no stone unturned". The process had lost its joy.  

LESSON TWO -  I need to find ways to have these experiences. They are what make you love the process, and to keep getting on the bike, or lacing up your shoes, and carrying on. 

BALANCE!

With Bec at the snow

We don't find this bit too difficult! We love our food and wine, but the balance is in not feeling guilty for those indulgences because I may feel like they have impacted on my training. We have reduced the number of nights out as the training has increased, and the poor wine cellar isn't being opened much at the moment! But there are other aspects of life that I have embraced more, and have "gone with the flow" regarding training as a result. One example was to go up to Mt Hotham for a day (yes, a day!) with friends Al and Bec McIntosh. this was a huge 36hrs or so, and happened to be the day before my OD (2.5hr) run. In the past, there is no way I would have done that. But I completely lowered my expectation of the run. It wasn't fun, or pretty, but I got through it, and doing the trip had been so worth it!

I've also thrown myself into work, and if I've come home exhausted after a day on my feet teaching, I've given myself the leeway to take the night off training. 

And finally, in June, I completed a 30 day yoga challenge, which not only was really rewarding, but improved all my niggles and tight muscles from all the riding and running!

LESSON THREE - I used to believe sacrifice was necessary if you really want to achieve your potential. I now think if you don't keep some balance, you may achieve, but at what cost? and for how long?

Areas where I may not have got it quite so right!

On the whole, this is a positive blog, because on the whole that is how the prep for this race has been. One of the many people who sent lovely messages after my DNF in S Africa said "remember the process of getting to the race, all the great training you did and enjoy that". I'm afraid for the S Africa prep, there wasn't a great deal of that enjoyment. Because I was so fixed on the end goal, I stopped looking around and enjoying the process. There is no way that will be the case for this race. Whatever happens in 6 weeks, I have so many great memories from the past few months, I will be able to reflect on that. 

But I've had my moments. They have occurred for a couple of reasons. Mainly they have been when I have felt demotivated (which is a typical reaction when I am tired or getting sick). I then start to question why I am training. Even whether I want to do the race.  In the past this has been easily answered by "because you want to have the best result possible in this race". Tricky to answer it, when the whole point of the race is just to finish. However "just" never means "just' in Ironman! The conditions in Malaysia, with the heat and humidity could be such that I will need to be the fittest and leanest I can possibly be, just to finish the race. That has kept me going in those tough times, but not always. 

Then there is the other end of the scale - the blossoming confidence that starts to emerge as I get fitter, see my times coming down, and start to think "I wonder how I could REALLY do?" 

DANGER!!!

This then leads to the relentless drive, that what I am doing is not enough, I need to push harder, train longer, see more improvements, feel guilty about that glass of wine. Luckily, when this has started to happen (which it has in the past few weeks), I have been able to look at the training I've done, and remind myself that it will be more than enough to get through the race, and hopefully finish fairly strong, with a smile on my face, as they hang my 6th finishers medal around my neck. 

Sean, my coach has continued to be a massive pillar of support. He has a program that works (I am proof) if you want to achieve your full potential. But he knows exactly what my plans are for this race, and what I have been trying to do. He has adapted our program completely to allow for that, and I am very grateful. I have also avoided some of the group sessions because I have not wanted to feel pressure (imposed by myself) to keep up in training. He LOVES having his athletes all turning up to sessions. he is a very "hands on" coach. And I hate to feel I'm letting him down in that respect. But again, he gets why I do it, and he's respected that. 

My overriding goal in this whole experience is to want to keep doing the sport long term. So far I think I'm achieving that, but we'll know for sure in 6 weeks time.

Moving forward.......by taking a BIG step back

Ironman South Africa - DNF

Most people who I know are aware that Ironman South Africa was my first DNF (Did Not Finish). I still find it hard to even write that phrase without getting a lump in my throat.

Why?

Because lets face it, Ironman is incredibly important to me, but there are other things in life. My health is one, and although I ended up in the medical tent on a drip, I came out of it all O.K. Pete is, in my life, far more important than Ironman. He can laugh about his DNF. He moved on within a day or two. My family and friends and their love and support, which were never more apparent than during this episode. And my career, which appears to be blooming before my eyes; almost it seems without me trying.

Which really neatly brings me to why I just haven't accepted this DNF yet, and why I never will. I BELIEVED in myself. Probably more than ever before, in terms of a race. I worked really hard in the prep. Ticked every box, ate right, slept well, had our life organised to a tee. I stood on the start line (at the front) and said  "you can win this age group, go and get it."

It didn't work!

What ensued was a good swim, then the most horrendous example of bad pacing ever seen in an Ironman bike leg! I still don't exactly know why I did it. I will justify the overpacing to some degree, as the first half of the course was very hilly, with some climbs of 11% for 2-3km. You can't stay below a certain intensity when you are out of the saddle in bottom gear! But I kept pushing ALL the descents (because I thought that was where I would save time) and also on the flat.




Some stats for those interested:

I estimated my FTP to be about 210W tapered, I hadn't tested it since August, so was riding more by feel.
Overall bike average power = 147W
First 60min = 172W
First half = 159W
Second half = 137W
TSS = 394.4

Clearly I rode a 60min Time-trial, then blew up! I can kind of laugh about that, and if that was what I had planned, then great. But I am pretty sure, since I was eating and drinking as I had planned for the optimally paced race that the massive dehydration I experienced, and the trip to the medical tent was because I rode at so much higher intensity than I should, that my needs were not met by my intake.

Lessons

And so they say you learn from your mistakes, and knowledge is power, etc, etc, etc.

That might be so, but usually in my mind, that would mean you are able to regroup, set new goals, and go forward. However, what this race has done for me is given me a different lesson.

I have realised that following my success in France, and racing Hawaii, I have striven ever since to be that same level of athlete. I have trained, eaten, planned like an elite, squeezing my PhD in around that. For this prep we gave up a lot of our other interests - the cinema, eating out, weekends away, red wine! We just focused on "getting it right". I dragged myself to the gym every friday night, because I wanted to address that "final 5%".
And yet I finished my first 2 ironmans, in respectable times off far less organised preps. I finished Ironman Los Cabos, a really tough race in 11.36, 10th in my category off an extremely limited prep.

So I realise that it's no good striving for that "last 5%" if you don't get the "bottom 95%" (which includes race day pacing) right first! And part of that bottom 95% HAS to be my love for the sport. Anyone who knows me, knows how passionate I am about it. I am also incredible goal-driven, and while the passion was ignited by the thought of finishing an ironman, it was kept alive by the drive to excel, to be the best I could be. That included going back to Kona, but was mainly around time goals, or placing high up in my Age Group.
But first and foremost for me Ironman is about crossing that finish line.

So where to now? 

My biggest fear through all this was that I would fall out of love with the sport. I will be brutally honest about myself. I have moved away from sports before, when I have felt that I've reached a plateau, dictated by my ability. I was an 800m runner at school, and after qualifying for my county (like state) and being royally trounced at the inter-counties event, I moved on to hockey. Got to N. Wales U18 level, but no further, moved on to rugby. Played for my country, but never got to go to a World Cup. Quite a similar pattern. 

My motivation for doing triathlon was purely for the personal challenge it presented. Now, I'm at this point, where I have set out to do something on the bike that I was just not capable of. Even on my best day in that race, I would have been hard pressed to have challenged the podium-getters.  Do I repeat my past behaviours, and move on? 

No I won't.

It all means too much to me. I have said I want to be doing this sport when I'm in my 70s. That is part of the appeal for me. But if I keep driving myself to achieve something that is beyond my capabilities I will just be frustrated and burn out.

My first "goal" is to pursue events or sessions that I know I will enjoy. That means doing some running races with no time goals, or medals to chase. There is a cross country winter league that involves handicaps and relays that we used to compete in which will provide just that (and lots of hills and pain, in a good way!)

Also, I love riding hills on the bike. That was what led me to enter Ironman France in the first place. So we already have a weekend planned in Mansfield, and I'll take the bike for a nice climb up Mt Buller while I'm there. 

My second goal is to continue to inspire. I have had several people (some of whom I look up to myself, others who I only know through friends) who have told me only in the last few weeks that I inspire them. I find this hard to believe. But from what I can gather it is because of my obvious passion and enthusiasm for the sport. Several people in the northern hemisphere have said that my pictures of me training keep them going through their cold wet (or snowy) winters. This MAKES me want to carry on! We are a really close community in this sport. I have so many friends around the world because of the sport. I would never want to lose that.  

But what about Ironman?

Back on the horse

I really believe that if I want to move on and keep my love for ironman alive, I need to do another one, not for a PB, or to podium, but just to finish.

So we are going to race Ironman Malaysia on September 27th. 

It will be very hot, very humid, and to complicate matters on the bike, there are "monkey zones". Yes monkey zones! Where you are not allowed to eat, in case the monkeys (rabid) try to attack you! That will make finishing the bike an achievement in itself!! 

My race plan? Drink a few cocktails on the beach (ok, maybe AFTER the race!) 

Swim to enjoy my recently acquired swimming ability!! (Non wetsuit swim - should give the ladies with better buoyancy a chance!)  

Bike - EXTREMELY conservatively (maybe wave at the crowds, but not the monkeys?)

Run - To finish. Smiling! I owe my race shoes 38km after they only got to do 4km in South Africa.

I will continue to blog occasionally. It will be a challenge approaching this race more conservatively, but I believe it is what I need to regroup and continue my love for this crazy sport! 

I can't begin to put into words the gratitude I feel for all my friends, family and their support. You all know who you are. Also to my coach Sean Foster. I desperately want to be one of his "high performance" athletes. But hopefully my enthusiasm and passion can inspire new athletes in the club to move up and take that place.  And of course Peter. My rock. He is even more excited about Malaysia and the monkeys than anyone could imagine! What a life! 

 

Ironman South Africa - pre race musings

Race week is upon us!

I can't quite believe that I am already here in Port Elizabeth, 4 days away from Ironman number 6. I love race week, especially when we race overseas. At the moment, all the nerves are staying away, excitement is the main emotion, and I can't stop smiling because I will have made it, not only injury-free but also healthy to the start line.

The last 10 weeks

Our training since my last blog has gone really well on the whole. We have completely changed our day-to-day diet in the past 6 months, using the Matt Fitzgerald "Racing weight" plan, and the major difference I have noticed is that even when I was in the biggest weeks of the training program, while my legs may have felt dead, my overall energy levels were better than ever, and generally I was recovering better than ever before. A highlight was our little "race weekend" 6 weeks out. We decided not to do a half ironman as a lead-in. We didn't want to have to break up our training with the taper needed to perform, nor the recovery needed after a full race. Instead, we did the double (2.5k and 1.2k) at the Cerberus Swim, followed by a tough half marathon at Warburton the next day. Both of us went really well, and it gave us a big boost going into the last big block of training. We are both using Training Peaks to track our training and fitness, and I managed a nice gradual build in my CTL (a measure of your overall fitness) to a peak of 150 just before the start of the taper. (Generally 140 plus is considered high level age group). Performance management chart for the build shown below. 

Performance management chart

Putting it out there

Which brings me nicely to expectations for the race. Many people wouldn't want to share their chart as I have above. Even more don't come close to discussing what their goals are for a race (or they're very cagey about it). I totally get that. For some, it's the fear of "putting it out there" and failing to deliver. For others, especially the good ones, they don't want their competitors to get wind of what they need to do to beat you. I don't, and never have worked like that. I can't count the number of people who tell me I "wear my heart on my sleeve", and in a good way. Any of you who are reading this and know me, also know that. I think for me, the more I vocalise my dreams, my goals, the 

stronger my belief that I can reach them becomes. I had a lot of self doubt early in the prep for the 

race. I'd been sick as a dog, post sinus surgery, and came back to training way slower than I would 

like. Sean Foster, my ever-awesome coach told me I had to "hang my hat" on something that always 

reminded me how good I can be. He mentioned my 3.28 run in France. He said "you have to remember that you did that, and what you are capable of". So I put it on my fridge, along with a few other little mental boosts. It's been invaluable for the past couple of months.

Mantras

Race goals

Interestingly, since writing the paragraph above, my original race goals may have changed! Why?
Well it's not because my confidence in what I may be able to do has changed. Instead, it's because we
drove the new, 2 loop bike course yesterday and realised that far from a flat, TT style course, it now has a 30km section of relentless hills, with some very technical corners on the descents. Brilliant news for me, I'll back my abilities on a hilly course much more than a flat one. But the issue may arise if the wind is an Easterly, as forecast. Realistically this will mean 10-15km of tailwind, but uphill, about 10km of downhill with tailwind. 30km of hard hills, then 30-35km of full headwind to finish the lap. If so, that will blow expected times out of the window. Nevertheless, it is what it is. I will give my original goals, but we are hearing predictions of 30-40 min slower for the bike.

Swim goal - 

Ideal = 1.02-1.05

Realistic = 1.05

Happy with = <1.08

Aiming for top 3-5 in age group out of the water 

We swam the first 1.5km of the course today, and there was a big current against us. I don't mind that, it's the swell and chop that mess with my stroke. Hoping for fairly benign conditions. This course can vary by up to 10min on a bad day though. 

Bike goal (originally) - 

Ideal = 5.30
Realistic = 5.40
Happy with = 5.49 (my IM France time)

Obviously may change completely dependent on course changes and wind. Main goal is to stay positive and focused, accept that I will lose some places on the bike, but can run them down.
Aiming to remain in top 5 coming off bike.

Run goal -

Ideal = <3.30
Realistic = <3.40
Happy with = 3.45

No excuses on the run. It's MY leg. Always has been. Goal is no 1 in age group. On previous results, 3.40 will get me that.

Overall goal - 

Ideal = <10.30

Realistic = 10.35 (PB)

Happy with = Sub 11hrs. But no, I wouldn't be particularly happy!!

On the note above. I have done everything I can to set myself up for a very good race. I don't think 

I'm quite in pre- IM France form, but I may never get there again, without risking burn-out. So I 

WILL be happy with whatever comes out of this race, because I am grateful to have got here, very 

healthy, despite clocking more 20hr-plus weeks than ever before. I will leave nothing out there. That

 is really the only goal I need. 

It is no secret that I am gunning for a Hawaii slot. There will probably be 2 in my age group. I am aiming to go to the Hawaii roll down on Monday ready to claim my slot outright. But if that doesn't happen, so be it. I have said since my first ironman that after all the training and emotional energy we put into the prep, I would NEVER want to feel disappointed with any ironman finish. 

So goal number 1, as always is to finish.

Number 2 is to smile for the cameras! 

Number 3 is leave it all out there. 

Pete and the "Team Coombe goal"- 

A little additional challenge (and carrot to push harder!) Is the Team Coombe cumulative goal! We calculated that our best time from a race we have done together is about 23 hours, at Los Cabos last year. We are aiming to ABSOLUTELY SMASH that PB!!! So even if our own targets blow out, we will keep chasing the Team Coombe PB. I'm betting that 21hrs is very realistic! Pete is in superb form, I'm as excited for what he can do in this race, as I am for myself. It is a wonderful thing for us to be able to do this together.

Thanks to everyone who is a part of our wonderful life and thanks for all the support you give. More detailed thanks post-race. I have already been told to think of people watching as we cross the timing mats. I can't begin to say how much strength you can draw from knowing that when you are racing 

away from home. 

To track us, go to www.ironmanlive.com on Sunday 6th April.

My number is 2215

Pete's is 1038

Pete starts at 6.40am SA time (that's 2.40pm Melbourne time, or 5.40am UK time)

I start at 7.00am (3pm Melbourne, 6am UK)

Let's do this!

Turning down an opportunity....or looking at the big picture

The opportunity

I was meant to be racing Auckland 70.3 this weekend - with the idea of giving myself an extra shot at Hawaii qualification. It is a half, but as with Mandurah 70.3, there have been 25 Hawaii slots allocated to it. I wanted to write this blog now, BEFORE the race, because it will be interesting to see on Sunday what it would have taken to get the slot, but I don't want to overshadow any of those qualifying by saying "what if I had been there".

The big picture

The fact is - I don't think I would qualify at this stage. Not outright anyway. I took stock of things after Mandurah, talked to Sean, and decided that I really didn't have my "peak form" run legs in me at Mandurah. In fact, looking back at some of my training records, I really peaked around July-August, and then plateaued. I really just don't think I was getting enough running kms in.

So fairly quickly, I decided that my main priority needed to be in the best IRONMAN shape (not 70.3) I could be in by South Africa in April. I am a runner, but I'll have a much better shot of running the bikers down in a marathon, rather than a half. Sean and I discussed me doing some blocks of "run emphasis" or "bike emphasis", with easy long hours for the other discipline, so I could really train the discipline I was emphasizing properly.

A bit of a setback

I scheduled sinus surgery (an ongoing problem that needed to be addressed) the week after Mandurah. I expected a couple of weeks recovery, then planned to hit my straps with the ironman training. Unfortunately a post - op infection made me really sick, and I couldn't even work on my thesis properly, let alone train!! But my wonderful doctor Karen Holzer came to the rescue as usual, put me on some Moxifloxacin (at $18 a day, they HAD to be good!) and I was back on track. 18 weeks to the race.

A Bright start over Christmas

An amazing group to spend Christmas with

After a solid first 2 weeks of proper training, we headed up to Bright (in the mountains) for Christmas. But really it was to train! Pete and I like to spend a week up there every year, often at the end of January, riding all the mountains, running and having a dip in the mountain water. This year was pretty special, as we arranged to go up with a "few" of the MTC/ fluid athletes, but close to the time, the numbers increased substantially, and we ended up with 10 Melbourne - based triathletes from all over the world, hanging out, riding and eating lots of food (which I had loads of fun preparing!) 

Recovery and consolidation 

We ended up training 25 hours Xmas week, and rode over 500lm. Obviously the next week was recovery, but I think going into that huge week with so little base behind me, took its toll. I've had some huge positives the past 2 weeks; like a 4 min PB for 3.8km in the open water, and some really good improvement in my running, but I've had days (like yesterday on the bike), where things have gone really badly, and my legs just won't work.

BUT I have more energy in myself than even before IM France or Hawaii. I feel positive (when I'm not pissed off with my legs!!) and I've had real moments in my running where the "old Jo" feels like she's back. Especially off the bike, which after all is what it's about!! The best thing is, Pete is absolutely ON FIRE at the moment, so we can now do a lot of our running together.

Letting it go

So whatever happens in Auckland on Sunday, I won't care. Of course I'll look! (If you're interested I would have been racing F40-44 there). Auckland is a relatively slow course - last year my AG was won in 4.58. My PB is 4.48, so on my day, I'd back myself. But in the form I'm in, I don't think I'd have been capable of the win. Also, it would have meant a taper week, plus recovery week, meaning a big disruption to all the work I am currently doing to lay the foundations for South Africa. I have been racing for 6 years. I am a racer, and will give it my all in 80 days. But for now, training vs racing is what I need.

What's ahead

I'm on a bike emphasis phase to the end of this week, but we are doing a carb-tolerance test on Sunday (to trial our nutrition) which will involve a 2hr "race pace" run. I don't intend to back off the mileage on Saturday's ride; I need the kms in the legs too much. But it will be good to see what I can do on that run on Sunday. 

Next weekend we have the 4-day Ironman camp, which will be huge, and will give us some practice in proper ocean swell (the swell in South Africa can be up to 2m). My goals for the camp are to get through the full 180km ride well, and swim as much as possible. 

Following that, I am considering entering the Warburton half marathon, which is on Feb 23rd (6 weeks from the race). I probably wouldn't do a big taper for it, but it would be good to dial in that "last half of the ironman run" feeling!  

I'm feeling really good about things. I have my moments where I wonder if I will ever be the athlete I was. I also wonder if even my best will be good enough in South Africa (the F40-44 winner did 10.25 last year). I won't know the answer to those questions for another 11 weeks. But I'm doing everything I can to make the answer "yes and yes".

The road back - Plan A - Mandurah 70.3

The road back to fitness (and wellness) 

 

First, a little update on what I have been up to since my last blog.

 

Following Hawaii in 2011 (Hawaii blog here http://jocoombe12weekstohawaii.blogspot.com.au/), I had a really good season, bagging first place in my Age Group in the Geelong and Portarlington long course races, and then a 6th overall and a massive PB of 3.09 for the Great Ocean Rd Marathon in May 2012.

 

What followed was a month of overseas travel with my PhD, getting sick (we now think possibly glandular fever), and I came back slowly into winter training, but just couldn't seem to do it. Furthermore, I had none of my usual energy or vitality, and despite backing off my training, just couldn't recover from any hard sessions.

 

What ensued was one of the hardest 4 to 5 months of my life. Every test under the sun, and many hours spent at the doctors, basically resulted in the rather non-descript diagnosis of "adrenal fatigue" otherwise known as "hypothalamic-pituitary-ovarian axis suppression", or "burnout", and sometimes called the dreaded "overtraining syndrome". But essentially, it meant I had pushed myself to the point that I needed a BIG break, to allow my body to reset, and had to come back very, very slowly.

 

When 15-20 hours of your week are suddenly not filled with doing what you love, you have a lot of thinking time! And I did a lot of soul - searching. Had this wonderful sport  hurt me terribly? Or was it my personality, and the way I drive myself in everything I do, that meant I was just too stressed all the time? Should I give it up all together? I thought long and hard, and was so frightened that I wouldn't WANT to come back, or that if I had to do it all more conservatively, it wouldn't be the same.

 

But come back I did, and I won't go into all the details of the past 12 months, but briefly  -

• I managed to finish Ironman Los Cabos (March 2013) in a respectable 11.36, off only a 15-week preparation. Race report here http://jocoomberacereports.blogspot.com.au/#!/2013/04/ironman-los-cabos-2013-race-report.html
• I had a good break after that, struggled through Cairns 70.3, but off a very limited prep.
• I have since done a really solid winter of training, as part of Sean Foster's 70.3/ Worlds development (high performance) squad. There have been many times I have questioned the validity of being included in this group of superb athletes, but thanks to Sean, he has kept reminding me that I am still the athlete I was before the fatigue, and to "hang my hat" on some of my best performances (e.g. my 3.28 run off the bike in Ironman France) , race report here http://jocoomberacereports.blogspot.com.au/#!/2012/09/ironman-france-2011.html

 

I never lost the hunger to come back, and to really excel again. I came to terms with my personality having played a part in my demise, but also accepted that I would not have achieved half of what I have in life if I wasn't like that!! And this sport IS wonderful, I just needed to employ some moderation at times, and take my time to come back to my best form. 

 

John Wragg and Elizabeth Model

 I set some targets, and one of them was to qualify again for Hawaii. Ideally this will be in 2014, but

having visited in October this year, to watch the race and support friends, it reminded me WHY I want to go back. I'm never going to hit the podium in Kona (unless I keep going until I'm 80!!). No, for me, it has and always will epitomise why I signed up for Ironman in the first place. To go there, and see my friend Dave Orlowski, one of the original Ironman competitors, and his will to race, despite illness setbacks, plus John Wragg and his wife Elizabeth Model, who between them have racked up over 200 Ironman finishes. This is a way of life, and seeing the athletes overcoming obstacles, and getting over that finish line, can't help but inspire.

 

So on to my road back. Plan A was Mandurah 70.3, which had 30 slots for Hawaii. For those who don't get this, it's a slightly controversial policy, whereby some of the Hawaii (full Ironman) slots are allocated to select 70.3 (half Ironman) races. Often this is to promote a specific race. There are certain purists who don't think you should be able to qualify at a half. I hate to be cynical, but I think they are often either people who are excellent athletes, and expect to qualify relatively easily themselves, or they are athletes who are not likely to qualify, and have a bit of sour grapes. Either way, my opinion is that rules are rules, and I will take a slot, wherever I am good enough to earn one!!!

 

And in Mandurah, I sure would have to earn it!! The main competition in my Age Group, and the actual winner on Sunday by 16 minutes (!) was Janine Willis, a proven competitor in Ironman, and in Hawaii. Going into the race, I knew on my best day, I would be highly unlikely to beat her, but "you've got to be in it to win it" as they say, and at a rolldown ceremony (where the Hawaii slots are allocated) you never know who will fail to turn up, or what will happen.

 

So my actual goal on Sunday was to race my own race, and give it everything, but specifically I wanted a half Ironman run PB. My first half in Busselton (2007), I ran a smoking 1.35 off the bike, and although that day I rode conservatively, I still felt that if I could ride strong, but pace myself well in Mandurah, I should be capable of that run target. At the least, I felt that an overall PB (4.49) was on the cards, and this would put me in contention for the podium.

 

Alas it was not to be.

 

A sensational 4 min swim PB (current-assisted, but still 11th is very good for me) and a good bike split, in windy conditions, had me out of T2 in 3hrs 15, feeling good, and confident of the run PB AND overall PB.

 

But my legs didn't come to the party.

 



Pain

Within the first km (4.58) I knew that I didn't feel like I normally do. (To put it in context, my first km in France was 4.25!!!). But I thought I might settle into it, and be able to pick up the pace. Not so. I was clocking around 5.15-5.20 per km, and my quads were just dead. Every time I felt like they may be feeling better, I tried to pick up the pace, but it didn't work. In the final 3 km, Sean's words of "give the last 3km EVERYTHING") came to me, and I was determined that I didn't want to leave anything out there. I was also chasing the 5.05 that I clocked in that first half Ironman I did, just to salvage SOME sort of pride in the result!! I was absolutely beyond my limit in that final few km, and yet my times only came down to 4.58-5.02 per km (something I could cruise through on a Sunday long run!!) But a vomit over the line and 30 min in medical, plus how my legs are feeling today, tells me there wasn't any more than I was giving. It just wasn't enough.

 

I was really, really disappointed that I failed to achieve my goal of that run PB. But I am proud of the swim and bike, and I'm really pleased that I raced throughout, and never gave up.

 

I attended the Hawaii rolldown ceremony. There is nothing more motivating than seeing those wonderful athletes accept their slots, and to remember that it was only 2 years ago when I was in that position.

 

I believe I will be again.

 

Plan B was Auckland 70.3, but I feel my real chance is at South Africa Ironman in April 2014. I will be racing in 40-44 there, and I have time to continue to come back to the form I once knew. I will decide whether to race Auckland or not in the next few weeks, and I will post the next blog after that, or intermittently though my prep for SA.

 

I posted on Facebook the day before the race that GRATITUDE would be my key word. And it was. This time one year ago, I was only just coming back from the fatigue, and could barely run 5km!! On Sunday, despite the result, and feeling lousy on the run, I RACED. I love racing, and I am grateful that I am healthy enough to train and race properly again.

 

Thanks to HAMMER nutrition, who sponsored me when I qualified for Hawaii, and have continued to support me since. 

 

Thanks to Lyndsey Travis, Ryan Parry and Peter Elliott who all raced with me and were great travelling companions. These kind of trips are so special because of the friends you make and the bonds you form. Thanks also to all the people who wished me well and followed me on race day - it means so much when you are away from home.

 

Together we are better!

Thanks so much to Sean Foster, my coach and friend. I so wanted to be your first athlete in the Hawaii 2014 team. I'm not, but together we will work out a plan to get me there, and if not for 2014, then another year.

 

And most of  all. Peter. My husband. He is there, a constant force of support and love. He never questions me, my personality or my ability. And we get to travel on this wonderful journey together. the ultimate goal is to be running down Alii Drive together, just like John Wragg and Elizabeth Model did this year. And we will. One day.

 

Until next time - thanks for reading - Mahalo!